Porn Pandemic

08-20-2023Pastor's LetterFr. John Bonavitacola

Dear Friends,


A recent media headline read: “Boston doctor charged with masturbating in front of teen girl on Hawaii flight”. Where would an educated medical doctor get such an impulse? Most likely from watching pornography. A few years back, pornographers fought for the right to use girls who “looked” like they were under 18. And that spawned a whole new teen Pornography industry.

The Porn Industry is the most successful industry in the last 25 or so years. Porn sites get more traffic than Amazon, Netflix and Twitter combined. It affects every segment of society from rich to poor, all races, creeds and has a worldwide reach. And it is responsible now for the sex education of our children, girls and boys alike. It socializes girls to be “porn ready”, that is ready to walk on to a porn photo shoot or just act like a porn star. It forms young men to have a distorted view of human sexuality, one that is mixed with violence and degradation and pushes boys away from intimacy and true relationships. Today Pornography is the shaper of young people’s gender and sexual identity. And it offers a warped view.

If you are fortunate enough never to have been exposed to this hardcore porn, which today is mainstream, you need to know that this is not Playboy or Penthouse. They were the “good old days” when porn was mild and not very available. With the advent of the Internet, it is a whole new sick world.

The average age when young people start viewing Pornography is 12yrs old. When a 12-year-old boy puts ‘porn’ into the search engine, he is given an unlimited number of Porn sites to view. And the first and most frequent image he is exposed to is “gagging”. In fact, one site is called: “Gag Me and then F- Me”. Young boys are immediately shown that sex involves gagging a female with their penis. It is degrading, abusive and violent. And not only that but they are shown that all sex ends with the boy ejaculating on the girl’s face.

Then when the boy moves to real life, he tries this with a girl, and it usually ends in disaster and often lead to legal charges of abuse. I know, I have had to make many reports to the law enforcement. And the tragic part is that no one ever told these young boys that is not who you are or how you act or how you treat a person. They are acting out on what they saw and what pornographers taught them about sex. No one told the boys “That’s not love”. And the girls have their self-worth destroyed or they start to believe they must put up with it to get a guy.

And for the girls who view Pornography, it is nothing but degrading. It is not about pleasure or fun or romance. It is raw abuse both verbal and physical. Again, some of the titles that pop right up when you search (and viewing them is free, requires no payment) include: “Altered A-holes”, “Anally Ripped Whores”, “First Time with Daddy”, “Daddy’s Whore”, and “It’s OK, She’s My Stepdaughter”. And the most frequent scene is one girl and three men, oral, anal, vaginal. So you can see how porn shapes girls to be “Porn ready”. This is the world our young people live in. And someone needs to warn them. If parents haven’t had the “talk” by the time their children are 10yrs old, then their children will get all their sex education from pornographers.

Some US states have passed laws that require Porn sites to verify age of the user. This means the user must input some form of I.D. That of course is the last thing pornographers want to see happen. It takes all the anonymity and one-click access away. As a result, many porn sites no longer operate in these states. We need all 50 states to do the same.

With all that in mind, you can see why it is not so shocking that a physician would masturbate on a plane in sight of a 14yr old girl. By the way, the girl did get up and move to another seat and reported the incident. Good for her. Someone must have told her she is worth more than that.

My apologies for being so blunt. But you need to understand what is out there and what your grandchildren and great-grandchildren are up against.

They need to be shown and taught what love really looks like.

Love, Fr. John B.

PS If you are interested in serving in the new Mental Health Ministry here in our Diocese, just let me know. No prior experience is required, and training will be provided.